I think I'm addicted...to the internet

I can't seem to get very far from this piece of equipment.

I've got work to do, serious work. Like inputting financial information into QuickBooks. But this is more fun.

I have changed a lot over the years.

When I first encountered the internet I didn't want any part of it. Searching for something - anything - would bring up so many listings of my search it seemed overwhelming.

I absolutely HATE shopping. When I do go it is with a list in hand or in mind. Into the store I go and get the business over with. I have a foster sister who would spend the entire day at the mall going from one shop to another. She would pick up an item, look it over, put it back and go to the next. Hours upon hours of handling items and not buying a thing. It got to the point when she invited me on a shopping trip I would say "No thank you. Just hit me in the face with a 2x4 instead".

The internet is akin to shopping. You know what you would like to purchase or handle, you put your search request in and a multitude of items come up. Open one link and scroll through it to see if that site has what you are looking for. No. Back out and go to the next one and repeat the process. By the time I did find what I was looking for I was well into the phase of "What was I doing?".

By necessity I have learned how to do a quick search. Enter the search item and only read the descriptions. If one, or more, fits then click on the link and check it out. If nothing fits then alter the words in the search field for better or different results. Now I am quite versed in the search feature that my husband comes to me with his requests.

When I want to purchase an item, for example flowers as a Thank You, I enter my search request and look at the resultant entries. Click on a link I think might have pictures and descriptions and off I go. When I find an item I think is appropriate then my next search would be Florist Shops in the town the flowers are going. I get a phone number, call the florist shop, make my request and have the bouquet or plant put together to my specifications and pay for the item. Same thing in purchasing luggage. Well, mostly the same. I print pictures of the item I am interested in and go to the mall or store that handles luggage and take a look at what they have. If I like what I've handled I purchase it. If not I find it somewhere on the road.

I am not a daily diary person. I have several journals around the house that I use when the urge to write hits me. One in my bedroom for when I take a long soak in the bathtub. One in my craft room when an idea hits me, or if I've come up with an ingenious idea for a scrapbook layout. In closets I have my whining journals. The "Nobody Loves Me, Guess I'll Go Eat Worms" ones. I have to keep them behind closed doors because they can be really dark and gloomy. I only bring them out to see if I've finally got passed whatever issue was vexing me at the time. If I'm still stuck in the issue I'll write a little about any changes I have made, no matter how small.

Life is about growth, and I'm still growing. Or, when I stop growing it means I'm dead. So I guess I'll try to keep growing. Even when I get stuck in an addiction, like the internet. I do know this will pass, or at least be sporadic like the rest of my journals.

I love to read what other people post. If a blog piques my interest I will revisit it and read more. If I don't like the content I just get out and don't go back. I love it when I find someone who (in my opinion) is all put together and they struggle in everyday life like me. It makes me think I am normal and not some "totally out of touch personality that desperately needs therapy or medication". I tend to be my own worst critic.

So here I sit, nattering on while the work I need to do is about two feet away. I need to admonish myself, as I would one of our children when they get mired in a problem and don't want to get out of it because it might turn worse. "Get over yourself and just do it!"

In a whiny voice: Alright. Okay. I'm going. I'll do it. Just give me another minute here to finish what I'm doing. I promise I'll get started in two minutes.